People Can’t Remain Where They Aren’t Supposed To Be

Happy New Year to everyone who reads this blog! I haven’t written in such a very long time. Since the last time I have written there have been so many changes in my life. So many things that I’ve encountered. So many things that I’m learning everyday. But, there is one particular lesson that I learned which is also the title of this blog. People can’t remain where they aren’t supposed to be. I know it isn’t very profound, but surprisingly many people don’t seem to realize this. When we look at the dynamics of all types of relationships from ministry, romantic, business, and friendships we often see how a person can go from singing the praises of another to talking about them in a negative way once a separation occurs.  There are so many memes, videos, Facebook posts, magazine articles and other media outlets that discuss this. You know you’ve heard, Everyone can’t go where you’re going. If they were truly for you they would have stayed with you. Learn to give people the gift of goodbye and so forth. Most of the time this is spoken in a negative connotation. It often suggests that every person that leaves you never had your back.  They got offended. They got mad because you were right and they were wrong. But I’m challenging those who reads this to be honest with yourselves. How do you know this was really the reason behind the separation? Is it because you’ve seen this before? Is it because your ego is hurt and you’d rather rely on your own perception of what happened than to ask God to reveal to you the truth? No one is exempt from this. We have all had someone leave us and we have all left someone else. The reasons are various, but  it’s still a common occurrence. I wouldn’t dare minimize the hurt and disappointment of any type of relationship that ends.  But we really have to evaluate ourselves and honestly determine were we completely innocent in all this? What role did we play? Could we have done things differently? Could we  have said or not said some things? It’s easy to point the finger at what someone did or didn’t do. It’s even easy to look at them as an unreliable or immature person. But could it be that everyone that has left us didn’t leave because they were the “bad person”. Is it possible that we are the common denominator and there are some things buried within us that we refuse to deal with that causes this sort of replay in our lives?  Would you rather everyone stay with you out of obligation and fear of you becoming angry? Or would you rather they be there because they want to be there? I  choose the latter also.  But our actions a lot of times speaks differently.  Many times people love to hear the word transition until people start transitioning away from them or they have to leave those they don’t want to leave. We’ve all heard that some relationships are seasonal. Even the bible mentions in Ecclesiastes chapter 3 “To everything there is a season”. But yet, the aftermath of someone leaving causes an inferno of mixed emotions. Some ask why? What did I do wrong? Others say , Your loss. You never cared for me anyway.  My question is how is it their loss though? I remember Holy Spirit revealed to me that most of the time when people make the statement “Your loss”, that it is their ego that is bruised. A person who isn’t invested is not the one whose loss it is. It is actually the person who was more invested.  Also, both people can be invested and it still not work out.  This applies to every arena of a relationship.  It’s a beautiful thing to love people but it’s even better to love God and be open to what He directs you to do. What happens if God directs you to end a relationship that you don’t want to end? Will you end it? Not speaking on marriage unless you didn’t wait on the Lord to reveal to you who your spouse was and you’re suffering with abuse and adultery.   Sometimes God will have you with people for you to gain what you need and then have you go someone else in the next phase of your life. Don’t believe me? Look in the bible. No one in the bible stayed in the same place all their life.  God used situations and even people to move them to where they needed to be.  Yes, covenant is a huge part of the bible, but God even warned people about who to get in covenant with and who not to. Many times we link up with people and don’t know to ask God about it. We don’t think to ask God is this seasonal or is this a lifetime type of relationship. We just assume based on where we meet or how we both started together of it’s longevity. But just because you start with a person doesn’t mean you will end with them.  This isn’t about being flaky or wishy-washy. But even Paul and Barnabas, two men who were filled with the Holy Ghost, doing the work of the Lord eventually parted ways. (Acts 15 :36-40).  Whether it is a disagreement, a misunderstanding, a betrayal or whatever else you can think of. If a person is suppose to continue with you, then somewhere down the road there will be a reconnection if stubbornness and hurt feelings are removed. But even if there never is one, just remember this one thing. People can’t remain where they aren’t supposed to be.