Transparent Thursday: How I Overcame Fornication

Everyone has a story. Everyone has a process.  I feel led to share how I became delivered from fornication. I didn’t get delivered in church. I didn’t get delivered from reading scripture. Even though I read and knew what the word said about fornication, it didn’t stop my indulgence in it. I didn’t receive a prophetic word, or hear a sermon that caused me to repent.

My Struggle

I was a fornicator before  I became a Christian.  After receiving Christ, I still struggled with fornication for years. I would leave church for months when got caught up in that particular sin because I didn’t want to be “playing” with God. I would do fine for a few months and I would fall. I bought a cross and wore it around my neck, thinking that it would stop me from fornicating. It didn’t.  I read a book about getting free from sexual sin and thought it would help me but it didn’t. The thing is I wanted to be free.  No one knew of my struggle in church. No one outed me. I would just leave when I fell short.  When I would go a few months without falling , I thought I was good and returned.  This was my cycle for me a long time. Did I mention, I was Christian and still doing this?  Honestly, despite all the heartache and rejection, I felt like that all I had to offer was sex. I believed I wasn’t enough so I had to settle for sex because I didn’t have “it”. What is it, you may ask? The “it” that made a guy want to be with a woman. The “it” that made a guy desire to be monogamous, marry and commit to a woman.  I didn’t  believe I possessed it. Sure, a guy may have thought I was cute, or even became infatuated with me. But it never led to anything long lasting. I even tried just being “casual” but that was never me. So I couldn’t do that for too long.

How I received deliverance

How did I get delivered? I got delivered by being attacked by demons while I slept.  I had to see how serious and deep, fornication was and the Lord allowed my spiritual eyes to be opened to see what was really happening to me. In times prior, I  would have a memory of the feeling and eventually give in. Sweet lies would cause me to give in. Fear of being alone would cause me to give in. But after those dreams my whole outlook on fornication changed. It goes way beyond a soul-tie. Demons literally latch on to your body and your soul. They control you like a puppet.  They wreak havoc in your life, and the more you give in, the more demons latch onto you, until they literally destroy you.

The Dreams

I dreamed that I was hiding from a white looking demon that had patches of brown on his chest and stomach. He had a muscular build. He looked like a goat. He had horns that looked like a ram, and he was standing upright at the end of the street. I was outside, but I was hiding behind some green fir trees. I remember being so petrified. I could feel how evil he was . He stood there and then suddenly I saw 3 black circular cones come out of his chest, heading straight toward me. When they entered me I died. Everything went black. The second dream I had, I was in my bed, but I felt someone near me. I felt such an awful grotesque and evil presence behind me. All I saw was a thick orange haze. I didn’t actually see the demon, but he was trying to rape me. I tried to cry out but it was like a whisper. I could barely speak, but eventually I yelled Jesus and the Lord took me out of that dream.

Gratefulness To God

I’m very grateful to God for this experience. Yes, it was drastic, but it took that to save my life. I really believe that I probably would have died an early death if I would have kept on fornicating. Even now I have my moments. I asked the Lord some years ago, to remove the memories of those whom I had been with and He has. But the enemy tries to pervert my imagination, since he can no longer use my memories against me.  Sin is so serious and sexual sin  seems to be one of the enemy’s most favorite devices. There are still many in the church that struggle and suffer with the shame that I once endured. But I want to let you know you don’t have to suffer. You aren’t alone. This is very prevalent. But you must get desperate and be open to whatever tactic the Lord will use to get you out. It may not be as drastic as mine. But He has ways and people to help you do it. You can overcome.

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