So today for some reason I was thinking about when I was younger and when I was involved with people and how quickly I would say to them I love them. Most of the time I would say it based on my infatuation for them. But other times I said  it because I wanted to hear it said in return. But truth be told, even though I heard it in return, it wasn’t always the truth. Sometimes it was used as a commodity. If I say this then you give me what I’m wanting at the moment.  But I remember one day having a conversation with the Lord. I remember when He told me I had never been loved before. I disagreed with Him. I said yes I have Lord, they loved me. They said it and at the time I thought that having sex meant love. But He asked me a question. He asked me if they loved you where are they? I thought about it. Then I realized that every guy that I was involved with that told me they loved me was no longer in my life. I began to cry. He said you don’t know what love is. Neither did they. Love is more than just a word. Love isn’t a feeling. It is a choice and a decision. It is everything that 1 Corinthians 13 states that it is. It is not even about sex at all.  He told me to not say it if I didn’t mean it because love is an action word. Love is about sacrificing your convenience to help or be there for someone else.  What I experienced was infatuation and lust.  I remember how within a month or two I would be saying I loved a guy and he hadn’t even done anything for me to say that. I was living in a fantasy. I wanted something that I didn’t understand. But I just knew it was something that I yearned for. I can laugh at myself now, but I was a mess. I had an experience where I was getting to know a guy and he was in my life for 8 months. Now the old Monica would have thrown out the L word, but during that entire time I never said it and neither did he. I cared about him but I didn’t say I loved him because I didn’t feel I knew enough about him to say it. Yes, I thought he was sweet, kind and a good person but I didn’t really get a chance to know him like I wanted to. But I digress. I also didn’t give him my body. The thing is I know who I am versus before I didn’t. I know I have worth even though the situation didn’t work out. It stung. But it would have been a lot worse had I told him I loved him or even  got to know him in the biblical sense. Love is more than just a word. So be very cautious of who you say it to and make sure that you two are on the same page.